Oh, um.. alright?
That’s very true about Rachel. To be honest, I thought it was kind of unusual that she chose Don’t Stop Believing for her first audition— I know it’s a song that’s special to her for a lot of reasons, it just doesn’t seem like something you’d choose to showcase your talents for the role of Fanny Brice. But hey, she got the call back, so.. I guess it wasn’t too awful of an idea.
I do think I want to stick with something a little more traditional as far as genre goes, but.. I realize I need to take a risk as well. I think I may have found a solution. Maybe.
Singing “The Circle of Life” would certainly get their attention! I actually spent most of my night searching through my music library and trying a few things out— I have a few new ideas now.. one that I definitely may run with.
I’m not sure that those songs are appropriate for something like this. I need to stick with something more Broadway— I am trying to get into the musical theater program, after all. Even if I did want to sing one of those.. I don’t think I could get through either of them.
I don’t think anything I’ve written is anywhere near good enough for something like this. I’m not much of a songwriter, unfortunately.
I don’t know.. it’s a great song, but it just seems too safe for something as big as this audition, you know? They probably hear that one all the time.
But thank you, though. That definitely wasn’t one of my best performances, but I appreciate it.
Thank you so much. I’m trying to not be nervous, but.. it’s kind of impossible when my entire future is on the line. And sure, I’d be open to song suggestions. I’d been leaning towards “Something’s Coming” from West Side Story— Artie and Finn really encouraged me to go with that one since I used it for my audition for the musical. It just seems, I don’t know, too.. predictable?
This really isn’t about Kurt, or you, or anyone else being disappointed in me. I know that the people that care about me and love me aren’t going to stop if I don’t get in, but it’s so much more than that. This is about me letting myself down and not being able to live out my dreams. This is about me losing out on something I love and need because of my own stupid mistakes, because I wasn’t good enough.
But you know what? You’re right. Stressing out like this certainly isn’t going to help my situation at all.
I don’t necessarily think that it’s the length of the distance itself that matters. You’re right, I messed up when Kurt first left for New York. I didn’t know how to handle being away from him, and I went nuts. But he could have been anywhere— New York, California, the North Pole— it wouldn’t have made a difference in the grand scheme of things. He was away from me, we were apart, and I couldn’t handle it.
However, I know how to handle it now. We both do. It took some time, and although we aren’t technically together, we are making the long distance thing work right now.
But like I said before, I didn’t get accepted into this school yet, and even if I did, that doesn’t mean that’s where I’ll end up. New York, specifically NYADA, is where I want to be.